Fear is not something I usually deal with. However, as of late, Ive been scared to death of myself. I remember a while back, someone telling me that I was afraid of success. Told me that the reason I stop doing something when I start to make progress, is because I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes along with my success. Of course I brushed it off at the time thinking that what he was saying was ridiculous. But now I wake up with my heart beating fast and a feeling of nervousness in my stomach. I can conclude that my fear of success has turned into the fear of becoming irrelevant if I dont produce.
So now I am here... writing to you, because I dont know what I want anymore... I just know what everyone else wants for me. She wants me to love her, Mom wants me to get a job with the city, My dad wants me to help him My boys want me to rap, Other people want me to write He said I should act She said I should go back to school.
I just dont know. Im the main one always saying "dont worry about what other people think" but here I am doing just that...
what if Im afraid of not being good enough... or what if Im just thinking too much.. thats always been one of my problems...
I am put to ease by the slight rain tapping on my second floor window. I'm broke, sick, tired and uninspired.... but I'm at peace. The rain is the only explanation... or it could be the new Blu mixtape im listening too - "Her Favorite Colour" . Ive listened to it at least 5 times through, and I absolutely love it. Im zonin... you should download it...
Peace! I dont have a care in the world right now. The power of music. It rules all. Peace and Love...PEACE AND MUTHA FUCKIN LOVE YALL!
I dont usually post shit for Download... but this shit is dope! Im a huge Pain fan... this dude makes everything sound hot... I can do without wayne on Snap, but whatever.and yes... the lonely island is a real group! They have an album out...
You told me, I could be anything I wanted to be. You gave me that freedom when I was just a little who cried every night in search of what he didn't have. A little boy who was always lost in an wonderland because reality was to harsh. When you said those words, you opened up a whole new world of possibility, chance, risk, and happiness. You told me I could be Peter Pan, and Michael Jordan. You told me I could be an astronaut, dinosaur, a writer, a construction worker, a secret spy a, a circus act. You told me I could be anything in this whole entire world. I was just a little boy.
Now I see that was a lie. Who am I to blame? Maybe myself for believing I could be the next 007. Maybe you should have just given me a list of the things I could be to save me from disappointment.
"You can be whatever you want to be"
Those words haunt me. The little boy has yet to leave, and I am confused. You opened that door, and told me it was okay to be someone else.
I just want to be me. However, after all these years of trying to be everything else, I don't know who I am.
i lost money on the game... but at least i got 2 dope commercials out of it!
Free Dorritos at work
the commercials were ehhhhh... i think all the beer made them funnier than they were... and the halftime show.... bruce springstein?!?!? this is 2009! give me rhianna, even miley cyrus, hell i would haven even liked to see kaneye and his shag!
welp.... tmy gshock is going off... letting me know.. its time to get to work.... so to wrap things up... I had a dope super bowl w/ ppl that i love... and i can almost garuntee... "YOUR SUPERBOWL WASNT RIGHT IF YOU WERENT AT LITES!"
FUCKING RENT!! I dont get why i have to pay rent! for what?? the house is just sitting here on land that isnt doing anything! like wtf!!!!! like let me pay a one time fee to live here... and that be it... i dont mind paying utilities, but rent... get the fuck out of here! womp!