Friday, February 27, 2009

Look At Me- Fear


Fear is not something I usually deal with. However, as of late, Ive been scared to death of myself.
I remember a while back, someone telling me that I was afraid of success. Told me that the reason I stop doing something when I start to make progress, is because I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes along with my success. Of course I brushed it off at the time thinking that what he was saying was ridiculous. But now I wake up with my heart beating fast and a feeling of nervousness in my stomach. I can conclude that my fear of success has turned into the fear of becoming irrelevant if I dont produce.

So now I am here... writing to you, because I dont know what I want anymore... I just know what everyone else wants for me.
She wants me to love her,
Mom wants me to get a job with the city,
My dad wants me to help him
My boys want me to rap,
Other people want me to write
He said I should act
She said I should go back to school.

I just dont know.
Im the main one always saying "dont worry about what other people think" but here I am doing just that...

what if Im afraid of not being good enough... or what if Im just thinking too much..
thats always been one of my problems...

whatever... Thanks for reading

Have a good day Kids

Cool Out

2 comments:

Erica-Lindsay said...

i know the feeling! no body around me was telling me what i wanted to hear nor was what they were telling me agreeing with what i saw for myself. but yes, in the end you've got to tune them out buddy and take a moment to yourself to "get your mind right" as my dad would say.. just start all over, back to the basics!

A Guy Called Def said...

This is the most honest post I have ever seen on your blog.
I must say my life sentences have never contained more question marks of late. So All I am saying is I feel you brother.I encourage you 2 find freedom not in what people what of you but one what you want for you. Every day is a new set of opportunities never live any day like the one before it.

Peace x The motto: Believe there's always more




-Def

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